April 2012
34 posts
I stumbled on an article, on Facebook of all things, about the book Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James. And the plot sounded weirdly familiar.
And the second book’s plot sounded even more familiar. And so did the third book.
And then I realized I read it as a Twilight fanfic called “Master of the Universe” (Don’t fucking judge me, what do you do at 3 am when you can’t sleep? Watch infomercials? I’m at least reading something)
No, really Click on a link for “Master of the Universe,” it goes to James’ website.
We’re publishing fanfic as real books now? Can we choose which ones? Because (1) as far as fanfic goes, “Master of the Universe” was decent, she knew where to put a comma at least, and how to use spell check but as a real book it’s…. Poor characterization, and unrealistic drama. And (2) I know of far better twilight BDSM fanfic. It exists.
One of the first dramatic moments is when Edward/Grey’s helicopter crashes (I’m not making this up) and Bella/Ana spends hours (hours, guys) not knowing if he lived or died. Yeah. That’s their first crisis bonding moment.
When it’s fanfic, that’s hilarious. As a real book… I want to beat my head against a wall.
- Coworker: Here, let me give you my recipe for iced tea, it's really good. (She claims to be from Tennessee, by the way)
- Me: ::eyebrow arched::
- Coworker: It's just three family size Luzianne teabags, one gallon of water, 3/4 cup sugar and some cloves...
- Me: ::stops listening::
- Obviously her Southern girl cred has been revoked. The only thing we add to iced tea is bourbon or lemons.
I’ve found (and been found by) a bunch of tumblrs who have the same goal as I do - sign up on OkCupid and pretend to seriously date while really just mocking other people’s profiles. And life choices.
Part of me wants to make a everyone’s best posts with the text:
Sorry, OkCupid
We’re just here to make fun of you.
Let’s be honest - it’s true.
I was walking to work on random morning when it hit me. I’ve explain previously that I tend to begin to think negatively about myself when I start dating someone new. I begin to focus on who I’m not, and how that’s lacking, with almost every guy I’ve ever dated.
I don’t do that with the Dom. Not even a little.
There are moments where I’m self-conscious, of course. But those are expected and nothing compared to the overwhelming feeling that I’m completely unappealing or interesting in the eyes of the person I’m dating.
I don’t know what the difference is exactly. Part of it is that he’s open, honest, and upfront about what he’s thinking. I don’t have the opportunity to twist myself up with wondering and what if. We’ve already had the talks about relationships and previous partners, childhoods and parents, high school and college.
Homophobia: The fear that another man will treat you like you treat women.
(via e-pic)
